On July 6th we had our first court hearing. The judge relinquished all the birth families rights and officially made Jana a ward of the state. We were presented as her foster family and the next court date was set for November. We were in front of the judge for about 15 minutes tops. Easy peasy right? Wrong! It was the most scary and stressful event I think I’ve had in a very long time! Starting the night before, Juan found me by our bed completely broken down in tears. We sat together and honestly just cried. I was so terrified that we were going to stand in front of this judge and for reasons I couldn’t even imagine they would take our sweet baby away from us. You have to understand, even to this day, there is NOTHING legally tying our daughter to us! We are foster parents right now until the final adoption is finalized. Yes, social workers try to convince me that they wouldn’t take her away, but I just can’t rationalize that. This girl is OURS!! No, we were not there at her birth, but she is every bit ours as our other 3 children are. I would honestly take all the food cravings, stretch marks and labor pains over the fears and stress I feel almost every day.
Adoptive parents go through so much more than biological families do and honestly they don’t really get the understanding they deserve. Two years ago close friends of ours brought home their beautiful adoptive baby girl. It took almost 3 years of just waiting for them to finally get their call. And even when they got her, they still had to wait patiently for over 6 months as the court paperwork and legal stuff was taken care of. I thought at the time I was being supportive by telling her “Don’t worry it will be all OK!” Little did I understand the pain and stress that was going through her mind. Only now that we have our own waiting time to go through can I truly feel the stress she felt. Yes, stress comes with any child, but please do not downgrade the pain that adoptive families face everyday to just call their babies theirs!